I didn't come by this figure on its own. It is hard work maintaining these gams, this beautiful blond booty.
First, there is exercise. Back in the days when we were let out of the coop - before Serena took down the pumpkin seedlings - exercise was easy to come by. I used to run the yard - particularly when the human was trying to get us back in the coop. I'd run and run and run and my long legs were so toned.
It is tougher these days, confined to the coop while the garden spouts outside, but I still manage. Puff gets all broody-like and lounges in the nesting box all day and the other girls shuffle about in the straw. Not I. I dig, paw at the earth underneath the straw, hop up and down on the roost in the run - shouting at the top of lungs, breathing in and out. Hen aerobics, if you will.
It takes more than exercise, though, to have a healthy chicken. Garbage in, garbage out, I always say. If you don't want to look like one of the chubby Cochins, go light on the scratch. Fill up on the organic laying pellets, water mixed with organic apple cider vinegar or wait until the human comes up with her bucket.
She does that about once a day. Sometimes, she'll pop up a second time with some greens especially when she's cleaning out her kitchen before the big farm share day. She also tosses in weeds when she's out working in the garden. The big question we hens always have, though, is what's in the bucket.
The other girls always hope for carbs - pasta, rice, leftover dessert. Ha! The human almost never lets the last one slip in. Garbage in, garbage out. She keeps us for the eggs. As much as Puff might like to think that she's put on this earth just to look pretty. If you want to stay in the human's good graces, you just keep laying. So no garbage in this blond bombshell.
Carrot nubs, bok choy ends, strawberry tops? Not garbage.
Leftover stir fry, mushy apricots, wilted lettuce? Not garbage.
It's all about health . . . Whoa, here she comes. What's in the bucket? What's in the bucket? What's in the bucket?
Let those other fatties go for the - leftover homemade waffles! I'll work it off later. Gotta run.
The chicken bucket
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